As I’ve thought long about where I am in life, and try to see and soak in the world around me, I’m taken with the vast messages that cause me to find so much adoration in the human spirit. And so thankful for the God that gives us that ability to love, to smile, to be…human. Human alone is quite something, but with Him, all things are possible; all experiences can be rich, and I know this is true.
As I enjoyed my lunch with Libby on Friday, thinking and talking to her about her class, and associated social issues that come up from time to time in 1st grade, I found another opportunity to laugh, see deep inside her heart and mind, and enjoy the amazing smiles and insight this little 7-year old brings to the table. As we sat, and talked, a friend whose father is severely impacted by LG disease sat with us. He was in a wheelchair, couldn’t lift his hands, and yet his amazing spirit and outpouring gratitude of being there in that moment with his daughter just practically spilled out on the table. I engaged, talked with them, and Libby too.We enjoyed the lunch and talked of favorite movies, foods we liked, and their teachers, but what hit me hardest was just the way she lit up, with her father there, the way the nurse that helped him eat was so gentle, and gracious, and nurturing, and how this is their “normal”. The way I saw how they could literally live the sweetness of life out and enjoy it, and be bold, and courageous just opened me up, and pumped up my heart to hold a little more. And I thought of the very few times I’ve taken to spend lunch with my daughter, and how it must feel to not know how many more you’ll have. And in my gut, I knew and still know even more that in an instant, life can throw a curveball, and it’s how we catch it that matters, what we DO, THINK, and how we respond as we make the daily decisions to follow our God’s lead and how we Listen to what He wants us to learn.
And soon after, I had the opportunity today to receive a reminder of how fast our lives can change. On an amazingly beautiful hike at a park today, I found myself thinking how wonderful the simplicity of life is just on this trail, hiking with friends, and while my kids kept running ahead, I called out, “stay with the group,”and followed behind as best I could, loving that they were running, and having such fun exploring. Reaching the end of the trail and looking up a steep hill of rocks and tree roots to pull ourselves up, I called ahead again, reminding them to stay close and wait. And then as we reached the top, just a bit behind the kids, my girls were no where. No where my eyes could see. And as I coaxed my youngest to come on, I felt they were just around the building ahead. But they weren’t. As I reached my friends to learn they hadn’t seen them, I began running down the trail again. Running and never stopping; calling their names. As I passed each trail and wondered if they were out there. I recalled the cars driving off as I realized they were missing, and the woman down the trail I passed that ‘hadn’t seen two girls”. I kept running, hearing children, only to learn they weren’t mine. Searching and calling and wanting more than anything to hear one of them return my calls. As I climbed the steep wall again, and came back to my friends, I saw my girls, one of them crying, and one not sure why I was hugging them so tight. All consequences, lessons, and brief feelings of despair aside, I took a few things with me from this experience. I clung to the faith that God was going through it with me, and I wonder now why I don’t wrap his presence around me like a warm blanket every hour of every day.And whether we’re in a deep sadness, an amazing high, or too busy to talk to Him, He’s there just the same. I wondered tonight if maybe one thing I could really make personal out of this experience, is that the moments that I experienced in those 20 minutes of seeking out my children with pure passion, running without tiring,and overwhelmed with anticipation that I might find them; that my Father has, and always will seek me with the same passion, just wanting so bad for me to turn to him and say, “Here I am. I’m yours. I love you, and I’ll hold Your hand from now on.”
Thank you so much for walking with me today, Father…. For your amazing presence in our lives.We will forever hold your hand and help you seek those who are lost. And thank you for the ‘angels’ that found sweet Ella at the gate and brought her back. And my ‘angel’ neighbor with us who found Libby. I am forever thankful for them. I am thankful for my children’s messes, their needs, their wants, their demands. I am thankful for their laughter, their passion for life, and the amazing people you will grow them into.I know you listened to Ella’s prayer tonight. You know her, and she’s learning more about how to know you, too. Give my children hearts that love you, above all things, this is my prayer for them. and Thank You for letting me keep them for a while longer and teach them how to Love You…