On March 18th everything changed, for those that don’t know we lost both Jeannie’s sister and her husband in a tragedy and nothing has been or will ever been the same. That is just the truth of the matter and because of that event we have to come up with a new plan. Something we have been sort of calling Plan B after reading an article about the co-founder of Facebook who lost her husband. A friend told her “look, plan A is no longer an option but we are going to kick the the crap out of Plan B.” Good advice. Leslie had three kids and there are no words to describe the pain. Royce and Sally lost a daughter, my kids lost an Aunt and Jeannie lost her sweet amazing sister. This was not how we had it planned and we are all are struggling to come to grips with our new reality.
There is a famous quote supposedly from Winston Churchill, “If you are going through hell just keep walking before the devil finds out you are there.” We are certainly walking through hell in this moment, but there is a peace and it is unmistakable and real. It is a power. It is supernatural.
My faith is stronger at times than at others and this is one of those times that it is strong and not in a way that is desperate but in a tangible I know He is here kind of way. The bible talks about a peace that defies understanding and we are living in that. We have a thousand things that have to happen to get back to the US and bring Leslie’s kids into our family. Maybe more, but something is undeniable; and that is the love we feel for them and the faith we have that things are going to work out. We are strong in Him. We felt that super natural presence early on in this tragedy in attending the funeral for Monte. I just can’t even describe in words so I am not going to, but a peace, a love, a brokenness for him and his family.
God is moving in our lives, the way He is providing for us financially, the blessings of our friends asking friends and searching everywhere for employment for me. Many people have told me they received my resume five times. So grateful for our friends’ efforts and their prayers. So many are praying for our family and we can feel the love and we are living out of it.
I heard a sermon one time on MARGIN and we talked about it last night over dinner with some good friends that are getting married. They are an amazing couple and we are mourning all the friends we made here and know we will miss them so much. A sermon by Mac Richard maybe 6 years ago and I really don’t remember much but the title of the message has driven our lives for years. MARGIN. What is that? Look at the pages of this blog, and here between the lines or more importantly open a bible and look around the edges at the white space. Really; open your paper bible and look at the white space there, it is just free, wide open, and you can put anything there. You can doodle, you can take notes, whatever, but in that white space is where we are learning what God is teaching us. The white space in our lives is something I think we have lost as a society, and sometimes in ministry.
About 6 years ago after that sermon, we changed the way we were living to include the margins of life. They are part of the page so they must be part of life. If there were no margins or spaces between the lines then things would get a little messy.
The margins are a good place to just be with your kids or somebody else’s, alone with your wife, by yourself or with friends. We sat and had dinner with a couple last night that is just starting out on their path together. They are getting married in December and they are special to us. It was an amazing dinner and so life giving to us. Margin.
I think that the time we spend with the Lord is like the white space on a page and the more we read the more He is teaching and speaking to us. It is where that peace I was talking about comes from. The peace that defies understanding because it comes from nothing we could manufacture. It is supernatural.
We will continue to have MARGIN in our lives as we move into plan B. None of us would choose this plan because I think we were all pretty happy with Leslie being part of plan A but our new reality will require us to come up with and trust in a different plan. We intend to place God at the top of the plan, our new family of 8 next and then everything else. For sure we plan to kick the crap out of PLAN B; or as Jeannie might say, “embrace it.” We have a long road ahead but there are so many blessings down that road and we are anxious and eager to run towards them no matter how difficult things may get.
Thank you for your continued prayers.